The United States drinking age should be lowered to 18 instead of 21. Alcohol is not as prominent in other countries as much as it is in the United States therefore the United States has one of the highest drinking ages. The government thinks that by making the drinking age 21 it will lessen drunk driving accidents and the use of alcohol by teenagers. The fact that the drinking age is 21 makes younger people want to do it more, because they know they are not allowed. The United States government feels that they are controlling the drinking problem by limiting the drinking age. At the age of 18 you are officially an adult, and all decisions you make you should be responsible for. At the age 18 you can drive, go to war for our country, vote for president, but the government feels that letting an 18 year old drink would cause chaos.
The government is afraid to lower the drinking age back to 18 because they think, that everyone from ages 18 to 21 will go crazy and drink so much and cause a lot of damage. In my opinion lowering the drinking age to 18 will not cause as much chaos as politics and the government believes, because teenagers younger than 18 drink already. What the government needs to realize is that if teenagers want to drink they will always find a way. In my opinion lowering the drinking age might lower the amount teens drink because they will be allowed to, and it won’t be as exciting. The government says that 18 year olds are not mature enough to drink, the government is especially afraid of drunk driving accidents. The percent of drunk driving accidents would not increase, because with the drinking age being 21, anyone under 21 still drinks and they make sure they don’t drive because it would be more illegal. The federal government raised the drinking age to 21, by threatening states to lessen federal funds if they didn’t raise the age as well. After only a little over 20 years of having the drinking age being 21, several states are thinking about lowering the drinking age to 18. A major argument is that soldiers that fight in Iraq can be shot at and defend our country but can’t legally drink on United States soil. "If you can take a shot on the battlefield you ought to be able to take a shot of beer legally," said Fletcher Smith, who has sponsored legislation to lower the drinking age in South Carolina (Goldberg 1).
With the drinking age at 21, it encourages more binge drinking for younger people, and puts them into more dangerous situations. "I know people in high school who drink and that's well below the drinking age. I don't feel like lowering the drinking age would promote kids to drink; they're already exposed to it. The laws are used to keep people under 21 from drinking, but people under 18 drink. What is the success of that?" (Travis 1). Many people are just oblivious to the fact that people under the age of 21 drink. Once in college there are so many opportunities to drink, there are certain bars that allow you in and allow you to drink if you have a college id, they don’t even check your age. In college there are people from ages 17 to above the drinking age, so having all the different ages makes it very easy for underage people to get alcohol. Underage drinkers for the most part have to hide the fact that they are drinking, which can be very dangerous to their health. If someone is with a group of people who are all binge drinking, no one is going to make sure everyone is still conscious. Underage drinkers have to drink in hidden places so they won’t get tickets or in trouble from their parents, not being able to tell anyone they are drinking can cause people to die. Binge drinking is much more dangerous than lowering the drinking age to 18 and allowing 18 to 21 year olds to drink in bars, and clubs.
The government should lower the drinking age back to 18 because having the drinking age at 21, doesn’t stop younger people from drinking to begin with. The government is afraid of what will happen right when they lower the age, but they do not think about the long term changes. The government doesn’t think about how lowering the drinking age would also help them by the taxes they would make off of the younger people drinking. The government pretends they are trying to do what is best for the citizens, but drinking is bad weather you let 18 or 21 year olds legally do it. In the United States the 18 year olds are considered adults, and are given many responsibilities, they are allowed to vote, get married, live on their own, and enlist in the army. Any person who is allowed to go and fight for our country in my opinion should be allowed to have a legal drink in the United Sates.
Works Cited
Goldberg, Suzanne. "Us States consider lowering drinking age." The Guardian (2008): 19.
Travis, Helen Anne. "Debating the Drinking Age." St. Petersburg Times (2008): 18.
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Vinod Siwlal
ReplyDeleteThe essay will be about the drinking age, it should be lower from 21 to 18.
The writers position is that she is against the current drinking age and wants it to change.
The introduction hooks my attention or trys to hook my attention because she used some ideas like we are able to go at war at 18 but we cant have a drink.
Arguments
teens drink even though they are not 21
accidents would not increase
go to war, but cant drink
binge drinking increases
Counter Arguments
lowering the age would allow government to collect more tax that is put on liquor
the author does not really have material to back up counter agruements,
strong point- going to war and not being able to drink
weakest point- weakest point include more on the counter-agrument.
felt is was repetitive, did not give like example of studies, no data shown.
counterarguement
purchasing of liquor will increase
" The government doesn’t think about how lowering the drinking age would also help them by the taxes they would make off of the younger people drinking" Lowering the drinking age will increase the the tax collection which will benefit the economy.
drunken driving should be drunk driving
KaCheuk Cheung
ReplyDeleteUnited States drinking age
drinking age should be lowered to 18 instead of 21
by using a thought as a teenager
adding some more reason for the US government to lower the drinking age.
At the age 18 you can drive, go to war for our country, vote for president, but the government feels that letting 18 year old drink would cause chaos. A major argument is that soldiers that fight in Iraq can be shot at and defend our country but can’t legally drink on United States soil.
any crimes caused by drunk teenagers who under 21.
I think the writer have great thought about the opposition because the writer has listed the real situation in our daily life.
the strongest point will be examples which teenagers under 21 can do.
The government is afraid to lower the drinking age back to 18 because they think, that everyone from ages 18 to 21 will go crazy and drink so much and cause a lot of damage. I don’t really think that the U.S. government believes everyone from 18 to 21 will go crazy because drinking too much.
the points of the argument are organized really well.
At the age 18 you can drive, go to war for our country, vote for president, but the government feels that letting 18 year old drink would cause chaos.
A)It's about the drinking age should be lowered
ReplyDeleteB)She believes it should be lowered to 18
C)It got me "hook" because i am interested in this topic
D)I think you can shorten the paragraph and some of the problems you talked about save them for the other paragraphs
Her arguments are that you can do so much at 18 but not drink
Her counterarguments are that the government is afraid of the chaos that will occur
A)she deal the opposition really well from dealing with how everything will not go as bad as everyone thinks it is
B)Your strong points our the take a bullet but not take a shot
C)You have no weak points
D)I can't tell if you have an order but i guess it would be best to go from strong to okay to strong again
A) the paragraphing will get better once you structure on how you want the points to be layed out
B)The topic sentence is perfect
C)The transition between paragraphs will also improve as the points are layed out
D)there were a couple of mistakes but they can be fixed once you reread your work
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteELISHEVA LIVIEM
ReplyDeleteA. This essay will be about the drinking age in the United States.
B. The writer is taking the position that the drinking age should be lowered to 18, instead of 21.
C. The introduction tries to “hook” your attention by explaining how it is because of the fact that the drinking age is 21, that more younger people want to drink- since they are not allowed to.
D. I think that overall, the introduction is good but I think that it’s just a bit too long. Mayb shortening it up a bit and only including your main points.
Supporting Arguments:
- She states how at the age of 18 a person is responsible for many things such as, voting for president, can drive, can go to war, etc.
- Lowering the drinking age might lower the amount teens drink because they will be allowed to, and it won’t be as exciting.
-She talks about how soldiers that fight in Iraq can be shot at and defend our country but can’t legally drink on United States soil.
-With the drinking age at 21, it encourages more binge drinking for younger people, and puts them into more dangerous situations.
- She writes that the government doesn’t think about how lowering the drinking age would also help them by the taxes they would make off of the younger people drinking.
Counterarguments:
-The government is afraid to lower the drinking age back to 18 because they think, that everyone from ages 18 to 21 will go crazy and drink so much and cause a lot of damage.
A. I like the way the author deals with the opposition, however I think she needs some more counterarguments.
B. The writers strongest point is that at the age of 18 a person is held responsible for so many things but still isn’t allowed to have a legal drink.
C. The author’s weakest point is that she says the government doesn’t think about how lowering the drinking age will also help them by the taxes they would make off of the younger people. I don’t think this point is really explained so well. Mayb talk about it a little more.
Thesis Statement-
I think you should try to make your thesis statement a little shorter and more to the point. I don’t think the second sentence about how the United States has the highest drinking age because alcohol is very prominent and how Italy doesn’t have any drinking age at all is so important for the first paragraph. Mayb think about moving that for in the middle of the essay.
Robert Bernardo
ReplyDelete1A. This essay will be about lowering the drinking age.
B. The author feels that the drinking age should be lowered, since an 18 year old has many responsibilites, yet can not drink.
C. The author tries to hook your attention by writing about a topic that is appealing to the audience. In a college essay, many of the readers are going to be between the ages of 18 and 21 so it definitely hooks the reader because it directly effects them.
D. This introduction is very repetitive, and could easily be shortened. I would elminate the 6th and 7th sentences, and shorten the last sentence. The intro should be as tight as possible, and this would help in doing so.
2. The arguments for are that you could die for your country at eighteen, yet you can not drink. He argues that even though the minimum age is 21, it causes people to drink at a younger age. Younger teens are more inclined to break the rules, and drunk driving could increase. She also writes how the government would make money through taxes if people drank at 18.
3. The counter argument is that people at the age of 18 would not know how to handle themselves, and would party too hard. I believe more could be done with the counterargument. Tell how 21 is a good age, yet 18 is better.
4A. The author deals with the opposition by telling how at 18 one would go crazy partying. She quickly says that this would not be the case, which is a good point.
B. The author's strongest point is how a person could go to war at 18, yet could not drink. One could be shot at, yet not take a shot. It is an extreme point, and has a lasting impact on the reader.
C. The weakest argument is the counterargument. More could be done with this, and research could be done. This would strengthen the main argument.
D. The arguments are indeed organized in the most effective manner.
E. To strengthen this, the writer could give a first hand account about how he or she was effected by the 21 age limit. The first hand account would have an impact on the reader I believe.
F. A good counterargument would be at the age of 21 one is more responsible and could hand themself better than at 18.
5. The drinking age in the United States should be 18, not 21. Other countries do not have a drinking age, and the United States should do the same. The drinking age of 18 does not discourage drunk driving. Since it is illegal to drink as an 18 year old, younger people are more inclined to do so because they like breaking the rules. At the age of 18, you can drive, go to war for our country, vote for president, yet the government feels that letting an 18 year old drink would cause chaos.
6. Other countries like Italy do not have an age limit at all; the government thinks that by making the drinking age 21 it will lessen drunken driving accidents and the use of alcohol by teenagers. Other countries, such as Italy, do not have an age limit, and the drinking age at 21 does not lessen drunken driving. The government is afraid to lower the drinking age back to 18 because they think, that everyone from ages 18 to 21 will go crazy and drink so much and cause a lot of damage. The government is afraid to lower the drinking age, because at 18 they feel people would cause trouble, and would not know how to handle themselves.
7.letting 18 year old=letting an 18 year old
The essay will be about the drinking age. The writer feels the drinking age should be changed to 18. The writer “hooks” the reader in the introduction by stating the counterarguments and saying them in a way that makes them sound weak and ridiculous. The introduction could be improved by tweaking the thesis statement just a bit. The thesis statement could simply be: “The drinking age should be lowered to 18.”
ReplyDeleteThe writer’s arguments:
*At 18, you are given more responsibility than ever before, so being able to drink legally shouldn’t be a big deal.
*Making alcohol illegal for 18 year olds make them want to drink even more.
*Promotes more binge drinking amongst teenagers
*The government can make money off of the amount of alcohol that would be sold to 18 year olds
The Counterarguments:
*Government thinks having the age be 21 will cause there to be less drunk driving accidents
*Government thinks keeping the age where it is will cause teens to stay away from alcohol
* Government thinks they are keeping teens under control by not changing the age.
The writer does a great job with the opposition. She states her counterarguments, but she uses them to strengthen her own position on the issue. She doesn’t allow them to outshine her points. In fact, she makes the counterarguments seem like they do not have any substance. The writer’s strongest point is the one that focuses on the responsibilities given to every 18 year old and how they fall in the same area of maturity as drinking alcohol. There are many times when the writer mentions how 18 year olds are able to fight for their country overseas but not be able to have a drink on American soil; it makes no sense. The writer makes her reader really connect to that particular idea in order to see how unfair and illogical the government is actually being. I think the writer’s weakest point is the one about their being more binge-drinking due to the drinking age remaining at 21. This could be strengthened if there are statistics that could be found that show that there is a strong connection between the drinking age remaining at 21 and the amount of binge-drinking going on amongst teenagers.
The writer does a great job with the opposition. She states her counterarguments, but she uses them to strengthen her own position on the issue. She doesn’t allow them to outshine her points. In fact, she makes the counterarguments seem like they do not have any substance. The writer’s strongest point is the one that focuses on the responsibilities given to every 18 year old and how they fall in the same area of maturity as drinking alcohol. There are many times when the writer mentions how 18 year olds are able to fight for their country overseas but not be able to have a drink on American soil; it makes no sense. The writer makes her reader really connect to that particular idea in order to see how unfair and illogical the government is actually being. I think the writer’s weakest point is the one about their being more binge-drinking due to the drinking age remaining at 21. This could be strengthened if there are statistics that could be found that show that there is a strong connection between the drinking age remaining at 21 and the amount of binge-drinking going on amongst teenagers.
ReplyDeleteI feel the essay is organized in the most effective way. Another strong point that could be made is that the politician who actually takes the risk and gets the drinking age changed to 18 would get a large amount of teenagers to vote for him/her when he/she is up for re-election. Another counterargument could be that changing the drinking age to 18 would cause there to be more cases of alcoholism or liver failure amongst teens. Two sentences that could benefit from revision are: “The government should lower the drinking age back to 18 because having the drinking age at 21, doesn’t stop younger people from drinking to begin with. The government is afraid of what will happen right when they lower the age, but they do not think about the long term changes.”
Having the drinking age be 21 has not stopped teenagers from drinking alcohol. The government should get passed its fear of chaos breaking out and focus more on the benefits of lowering the drinking age.
The piece is great. It doesn’t sound like you’re trying to be a “college-student”. Great job!